Am I the only person who is stoked about Daylight Savings Time?
Selfish dick mode, avoiding anyone and everyone who wants to unload their baggage on me during one of my rare really good moods.
When someone is upset about something, no matter how insignificant it is in the grand scheme of things, saying “It could be worse” is probably the most obnoxious thing you can say.
I just need some very serious me time right now.
This is the kind of genius motherfuckers are missing out on by not being friends with me.
Is everyone sick of Zooey Deschanel yet.
At this point I’m more sick of people who are sick of Zooey Deschanel. She’s quirky. You hate it. We get it.
While everyone is either whining about or defending 4/20 and talking about Hitler’s birthday, I am gonna be celebrating Barney Gumble’s birthday.